From Luck to Determination: IAS Priya Rani's Journey to Securing AIR-69. Read Story :

Overcoming Doubts and Uncertainty to Achieve the Dream.  IAS PRIYA RANI

From Luck to Determination: IAS Priya Rani's Journey to Securing AIR-69

    I secured AIR-284 in my second attempt, missed the cutoff, and wasn't in the final list in my third attempt. People started saying my first success was just luck, but my fourth attempt proved them wrong - I secured AIR-69! 

My journey began in Phulwari Sharif, a village in Patna district. At 4, my grandfather decided girls' education was more important than boys', believing independence was crucial for girls who'd join another family. This progressive thinking drove my education. I studied in one of Patna's best schools and always dreamed of civil services from 7th-8th standard. However, coming from a middle-class background, I needed a Plan B, so I pursued B.Tech in Electrical Engineering from Ranchi.

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Working as a software developer On  Bangalore, I realized the credit in my account wasn't fulfilling. I didn't see myself in the same sector 10 years later, chasing dream. my childhood

Leaving Oracle, I came to Delhi, but the crowd in Mukherjee overwhelmed Nagar me , decided to prepare in Rajouri instead. Self-study made my journey longer, but I learned a lot. I had my share of lows and highs. Now, as a person, I feel I've gained maturity to accept what's happening and trust that what's coming will be better. Before my first attempt in 2020, I took a year to prepare. I realized that оnсе you're in the examination cycle, if you fail at any stage, you're stuck. So, I prepared my entire syllabus and then attempted.

In 2020, I gave my first attempt. Though I practiced a lot for prelims, the actual paper was different. I wasn't confident of clearing it, which affected my mains paper performance.

I realized I shouldn't stress about one paper. Let's go home and assess how many answers I got right or wrong. I took CSAT, but I couldn't concentrate due to worries about my General Studies (GS) performance. I scored around 120 in GS, but my CSAT score was low. I wasted an entire month fretting that I wouldn't clear the exam and hadn't prepared for mains. When the prelims result came, I was relieved to have cleared it, but I only had two months for mains preparation. People say when you feel it's still possible, you'll make it. I revised my routine to complete preparation in two months. Though I put in less effort, I thought I'd clear this exam in this attempt itself. But when the mains result came in March, my name wasn't on the list! That entire day, I felt lost, thinking the past year's preparation was wasted.

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I'd invested almost two years with zero results. I questioned my decision, wondering if I should continue. But something inside me perhaps spiritual motivated me to try again. The next day, I called my father and reassured him, "Papa, don't worry, I'm not sad. I'll retake the exam, and I feel I'll clear it this time." With every attempt, your confidence starts decreasing, and self-doubt creeps in. You begin questioning your preparation strategy "Am I going in the right direction?" I had those doubts during my second attempt, even when I was preparing for prelims. That doubt persisted even in mains. But somehow, the changes I made in my strategy for the ethics paper, essay paper, and optional subjects helped me score really well in mains. I secured a rank of 284, but my interview score that year wasn't great; I got only 162. That improved in my fourth attempt, which I'll share later.

When I got a rank of 284, the best part was that no one knew, apart from my family, that I was even attempting the Civil Services exam. Everyone thought I was working in Bangalore. When the results came out, people were surprised. They kept asking, "When did she write the exam?" They had no idea I was preparing in Delhi. I believe that sometimes, when you shout too loudly about your dreams, they slip away. That's what happened in my third attempt, which I will share later. But in my second attempt, it was great that no one knew about it. It was a surprise for everyone they were happy, surprised, a mix of emotions. Since I cleared it in my second attempt, I decided to skip LBSNAA for my third attempt, thinking that I could get a better rank. I had missed IAS by just a few marks, so I thought I'd prepare better and take the exam again.

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This time, there was a lot of pressure. Having cleared the exam in my second attempt, people would call after every stage, asking, "Have you cleared prelims? How was mains? How did the interview go?" I was under immense pressure, but I was confident that I'd clear it since I only needed to improve by a few marks.. However, my training for Indian Defense Estates was going on, and I was shocked to see my name wasn't on the list. It was heartbreaking because I had put in more effort this time.

I felt like I had studied more, worked harder, and still, it didn't happen. At that point, I realized that Civil Services preparation comes with uncertainty. You put in the effort, but you may not always see the results. The unpredictability of this exam is real, and it depends on how much you want it and whether you give up or keep going.

In my second attempt, I cleared the exam, and my family expected that I'd crack IAS this time and the journey would end. It's not just your journey; your family is also with you on it, and their expectations grow too. They were just as shocked as I was when I didn't make it. Luckily, I had chosen Patna as my center for my next prelims instead of Delhi. I felt so nervous after the results. I went home, cried for two or three days, wondering how this could happen after all the hard work. The day before prelims, I wasn't sure if I should even write the exam, but my father told me, "It's okay, beta, just go and give it. You've studied for so many years; there's nothing to lose now. You feel like you haven't achieved IAS, but there's nothing to lose from this point." So, I went ahead and gave the prelims. The paper felt difficult again, both Paper 1 and CSAT, and I didn't think I would clear it. But when I saw my marks later, I had scored 108 in GS, while the cutoff was only 75, and I cleared CSAT as well. After prelims, I needed a break, so I took a week off and went to Jim Corbett. I had decided to prepare for mains after the prelims result came out. Luckily, this time, the prelims result came within 8-10 days, and I had cleared it. I realized I needed to approach this attempt seriously and improve on the shortcomings of the previous attempts.

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However, my training was ongoing, and our schedule was quite hectic. I was moving from place to place-Jaisalmer, NIFM, Secunderabad while preparing for the exam. I couldn't carry all my notes, so the first step I took was to digitize them. I scanned all my notes to keep them with me wherever I went. The second change I made was in my strategy for my optional paper. I made completely new notes for Paper 2, as I consistently scored low in it across all my attempts. This year, I read many articles, research papers, and resources and compiled my entire Paper 2 notes in one place, which helped me scale up my marks from 125 to 152. I used to joke that economics was my unrequited love because, no matter how much effort I put in, it never rewarded me. But this year, it finally did, and I got 152 in Paper 2. During training, our schedule was from 10 AM to 5 PM, so would study before 10 and after 5. In between, we also had departmental exams to study for and take. But the last month was crucial, as we were given 20 days of leave. During those 20 days, I completely focused on my preparation. Those 20 days, I feel, were crucial in clearing mains this year. After giving mains, I got my first posting in Kasauli. It's a beautiful place, and I focused on the work I was assigned. But in the back of my mind, I was always waiting for the mains result. When it came out in December, I found my name on the list. I was expecting to clear mains, but after the interview, I wasn't sure if I'd make it or not. That was the dicey part for me.

My interview was scheduled for January 12, and I didn't get much time to prepare. I revised some current affairs and my optional subject, but I didn't take any mock interviews this time. In my previous attempts, I had given many mocks, but I felt that they changed my natural personality. After multiple mocks, a different version of me would appear in the interview room. So, this time, I decided to go without any mocks. Another reason was that I was already in service and regularly interacting with people, attending meetings, and engaging with the public. This naturally helped me develop my personality, which I believe reflected in my answers, making them more mature compared to my second attempt. My interview score improved from 162 to 193 because of this maturity.

After the interview, I underwent the medical examination and returned to Kasauli to resume my duties. Life returned to normal, but as the result date approached, anxiety crept in. No matter how prepared you feel, even the candidate who ends up with the top rank fills out the next prelims form because the uncertainty always lingers. I also filled out my prelims form, hoping I wouldn't have to take the exam again.

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On April 15, the rumor was that the results would be announced, but they didn't come. So, we were sure the results would be out by the afternoon of April 16. That morning, I woke up early and decided to go for a walk to release the stress. Kasauli is a beautiful place, so the weather and surroundings helped calm me a bit. I returned, but time seemed to crawl as I waited. Around 1 or 2 PM, the results were finally out. My brother, who was upstairs, came down with a slightly sad expression. I asked him, "Did the result come out?" He said yes, but he looked disappointed, so I asked, "Did I not make it?" Then he told me, "No, it's really good, I was just messing with you!" I asked him what rank I got, and when he said 69, I couldn't believe it.

Even though people might think it was believable, I couldn't. I felt like it wasn't real until the marksheet was released. I kept thinking maybe the roll number was someone else's, and it was just my name. But when the marksheet confirmed it, I realized that I had finally achieved what I had been working toward all along.

I was in Kasauli at the time and hadn't gone home yet. My father video-called me, and the tears of joy in his eyes were the most precious sight of my life. He was so proud, and think those tears were the most valuable gift I have ever received...

IAS PRIYA RANI

 

Syed Basharat